FAQ

How long will it take for my art to arrive once I purchase it?

Let's be honest, life is unpredictable and the post industry is in decline. I doubt they even have real people running the operation these days. It's more likely a highly trained budgie and a bunch of blind dogs barking orders at each other and pawing at envelopes. If you’re on the other side of the world (I’m in Paris) at the absolute max it could take two weeks, but it should be more like a week to 10 days. 


I live in Paris, can I pick up the work in person?

You speak good English for a Parisien, and sure - but it's cold at the moment and the outside world terrifies me. Shoot me a message on the contact page and come over and look at some work.


There’s something I’d like to buy it’s sold, it’s not in the print section and it’s the only piece I like, is there a possibility of getting it as a print or commissioning something similar?

Hey cool, glad you like at least one work - yes, drop me a line through the contact form and we can sort it out. 


I noticed that some of the works are framed and some aren't?

Astute observation. The smaller works I’ve decided to frame myself because they’re not that expensive to send. Things like the A4 works start getting pretty heavy and the larger plane of glass is more vulnerable to breaking when transported. To keep the prices down I’m sending them in their natural form, vulnerable, naked, exposed - so you can dress them up however you want. Please don’t put them in crap frames though, I’d recommend getting it professionally framed with white or black with a white matte x 


If I don't purchase something, will you still be able to eat and pay the rent?

Unlikely. I already spend less then most homeless people on food and rent is Paris is expensive. My diet consists mostly of baguettes, coffee and cheap red wine (I like to call it the French Revolution diet) - Unfortunately my landlord and I have zero sexual chemistry so favours for rent aren’t really on the table. I have to rely on good old capitalism like everyone else. 


Why should I purchase your art?

I wouldn't if I were you. But, if I was you, and you were me, the art would be different. So it's impossible to imagine how I would feel about your (my) work if we exchanged places. You should make some art though, it feels good and whilst being vulnerable to the judgement of others might make you feel uncomfortable, it's where the true strength of character lies.


Why is art worth money?

It's not really, that's the whole joke of it. But money and value are pretty abstract concepts when you think about it. And hey - life is tough and full of ups and downs. Imagine you’ve just had a bad day, you’ve come home and are pouring a glass of wine, or lighting a joint. You don't know where you're going in life, you hate your job... your relationship is on the rocks and you’ve been considering installing Tinder secretly because you’re not getting the affection and sexual validation you crave, your dog is sick and you can't afford to take him to the vet and you just went to the fridge only to realise your flatmate ate the last piece of pizza that you’d be looking forward to the whole way home. Just when you think life couldn’t get any worse your eyes fall onto a piece of art that you purchased from me.. actually.. I doubt that'd help at all. 


Your work reminds me of Egon Schiele.

That's not a question. But really? No one’s ever said that before. 


Why do I prematurely ejaculate?

Psychological pressure to perform?  Anxiety? Overtly attractive partner? Have you tried drinking a bottle of wine first? I find that helps take the edge off. Also relax your legs, hot tip.